I wish I had died then.
I wish the pills weren’t too weak for my medicine infested body.
I wish I didn’t wake up.
I don’t want to see the sun rise again.
I don’t want to be scared anymore, I don’t want to cry anymore, I don’t want the constant pain that life delivers.
I don’t want to feel like the biggest failure to my family anymore.
I don’t want my mother to hate me anymore.
I don’t want my brothers to make me feel like a walking joke anymore.
I don’t want my friends to be tired of me anymore.
I don’t want to keep hoping that life will change.
I hoped for so many years, I prayed, dreamed, that I can laugh freely again.
I’ve searched for love in every corner, and in the end in my hands are ashes,
slipping between my fingers with no hesitation.
Every time hope does pass by my door, it only does so
to disappoint me and push me further down this dark rabbit hole.
I wish I never woke up.
I wish I never woke up.
I wish I never woke up.