It is time in my life to cut ties with any negativity and attachments that will only result in bringing me down. The past year has been such an eye opener on the people in my life. For the longest time after last years events, I apologized to all of my friends for being distant, and I was completely sincere. I really was sorry for hurting them by my silence because I still really cared about these people. Many people start with having good intentions and I know that. It’s how fast they give up that made me realize how much I need to evaluate the people I put too much expectation in. I guess you automatically think that at least, out of anyone, your friends, boyfriend, family will stand by your side and understand where you are emotionally and support you even if you aren’t very talkative. It turns out that with most people, I was very wrong about that. It was a shock at first, and I still tried to apologize, repeatedly, for distancing myself. I have tried so many times to explain, I wasn’t silent because I lost interest in people and no longer cared, I was doing it out of being completely lost in life and trying to learn more about myself. I felt so genuinely upset that I had hurt these people and I really needed them to understand that. Well…I did learn a lot about myself. I have also learned a lot about the people I thought would stand by my side during really hard times. And I may finally be at a place where I’m realizing that I’m simply making myself more miserable for holding on too tight to relationships that were falling apart. It’s strange, because my best friend and I rarely talk. But we still completely understand and accept the other, and no matter how long it’s been, when we talk it’s always comfortable, like we still saw each other everyday. Others however, took another approach. Cold shoulders, saying negative things behind my back and to my face, and for some reason I would always, always apologize. “I’m sorry. Please believe me when I say that I’m just going through a lot right now, and it’s nothing personal at all.” How many times have I asked for forgiveness from so many people? I have apologized so damn much. And maybe I’ve reached a point where I just don’t want to apologize any longer for who I am and the things I’m dealing with. I don’t need any more relationships with anyone who drops me when things get rough. That simply shows how little trust they have in me and how little importance our relationship had in their life if they give up on me when I need them the most. All I truly need in my life right now are positive people who understand and accept me the way I am, and support me whether they’re half way across the world or living in the same city. Who support me even while I hide from the world to sort my head out. I need people who will be there when I manage to get out of my head and give me a smile and say “I’ve been waiting” instead of listing all the negative things about me and telling me I am not doing enough, I am not good enough for your attention anymore. All I need to concern myself with is the people that refuse to give up on me and give me gentle reminders and pushes when I need them. To those people…you will never know how grateful I am for your support and you know that when hard times hit you, I won’t give up on you just like you refused to give up on me. Thank you.