I’ve become so terrified of my weight I began to have modelling opportunities, and I grabbed onto every job I could get to prove something. To myself, that the girl who absolutely hated her looks, her whole life, the girl with zero self esteem and everything average is being seen, doing photoshoots for magazines, and can be finally be seen… Read more →
A Poem to my Rapist
His name came up with a message full of little smileys and those dumb emojis Vile mouth coos it must be fate Last year he apologized For what? For not calling If my body wasn’t shivering so much in this hot weather, I would have screamed until my throat tore apart What a nice scenario, if only But my… Read more →
I’m not so sorry anymore.
It is time in my life to cut ties with any negativity and attachments that will only result in bringing me down. The past year has been such an eye opener on the people in my life. For the longest time after last years events, I apologized to all of my friends for being distant, and I was completely sincere.… Read more →
Dealing with the “G” word.
I’ve spent the last 8 months trying to understand grief, trying to understand and wrap my head around what death is, and trying to move on. Trying to understand the hush hush world of the “G” word that people avoid. My father died very unexpectedly, on the night before my parents were to hop on a plane to start a… Read more →
Lets Be Honest.
Lets be honest, I am not doing as well as I wish I was. Losing my dad was like losing half my heart. Losing my dad was like losing my reasons to keep going. I relived his death last night in a dream, and I woke up crying, I woke up missing him so much. Lets be honest, I will… Read more →
I miss you, but I’ll be okay.
When you lose someone precious, you start to find a lot of comfort in nature. You spend excessive amounts of time looking at the sky, you notice the butterflies and the birds, you really feel each breeze. Maybe because we all hope that the person we lost may not be in the same form anymore, but that they’re now a… Read more →
Overcome Your Regrets
“Live with no regrets.” is something you hear often with the younger generation. That’s our biggest desire, isn’t it? To look back at what we’ve done in our life and say “I have no regrets.” But thats not really realistic, is it? It’s ideal, sure, it’s a lovely thought. But in reality, life isn’t that sweet. I think once you… Read more →
The Unavoidable Cycle of Life
Death. my worst nightmare since I was a child. The topic everyone avoids, because no one wants to think about the end. And then all the sudden, I was bombarded with the “unspeakable”, “unthinkable.” Thats what 2014 was filled with for me. Right during New years, I lost someone due to breast cancer, and I attended my first funeral where… Read more →
50 Simple Joys In My Life
1. Aroma essence oils 2. Seeing the ocean as you drive 3. Fireflies 4. Campfires 5. Hearing “I miss you.” 6. Fireworks 7. Winter night skies filled with stars 8. Used clothes shops 9. Candles 10. Music boxes 11. Piano concertos 12. Huggable pillows 13. Midnight unexpected texts 14. Falling in temporary love with strangers 15. Hiking 16. Wildflowers 17.… Read more →
Loving Yourself/Loving Others
Yesterday, I saw someone who you would look twice at. Elegant is the best word to describe her, naturally beautiful. Her face showed only pure innocence, which is rare for someone who is probably around my age. When thinking of this person, one of my thoughts was, “I wonder if she has any insecurities, being so “perfect,” but quickly my… Read more →